Diary of shiva rhttp://shivashiva.rediffiland.com/Diary of shiva ren-usdrinks.....head to a local bar for a drink. Standing outside the bar
was a nun
holding a tin cup.

As the man threw a few bucks into her cup the nun launched
into a long tirade about the evils of alcohol. She went on
and on about
how alcohol was tearing apart the fabric of society and how
it was the root of all the city's problems.

Slightly pissed off at having to listen to this the guy
said,

"Listen sister, I work hard for my money and sometimes
at the end of a long day I like a drink or two. That
doesn't make me a bad
person. I have a wife I idolize and two wonderful kids at
home. I provide for my family, I volunteer my time to
several local
service clubs and I contribute regularly to various
charities. Yet you stand here and condemn me just because I
drink the
occasional glass of scotch!"

The nun was slightly taken aback and replied, "I see
your point my son and I apologize if I offended you but the
alcohol is such
a powerful demon that all who consume it are
doomed..."

"Look there you go again," said the man,
"How can you make such a sweeping statement. Have you
ever even TRIED alcohol?"

"Of course not!" gasped the nun, "The evil
alcohol has never touched my lips."

"Do you really think that one glass of booze can
change you from a devout nun to some kind of evil
degenerate?"

"Well, I really don't know ...."

"I'll tell you what, come into the bar with me and
I'll buy you a drink. One drink. I'll prove to you
that "evil" is not inside the
glass, it's inside the person."

"Oh I could never be seen going into such a den of
inequity, it's out of the question. However, your
comment about evil residing in
the person rather than the glass is quite intriguing. I
must admit you've aroused a curiosity in me."

"Well let's go inside and settle this"

"No my son, I could never enter such a place... but
how about this. Take my tin cup with you and fill it with
this "scotch" you
mentioned. Bring it out to me and I'll try it."

"You're on!" said the guy.

The nun removed all the change and handed him the tin cup.
He went into the bar and said to the bartender, "Two
scotch on the
rocks, and could you put one of them in this tin cup
please"

The bartender sighed and said,

"Is that fucking nun out there again!"

]]>Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:25:06 +0530http://shivashiva.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/08/12/drinks.htmlstatewise...lol
> >
> >
> > Bengali
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Bengali = poet.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Bengalis = a film society.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Bengalis = political party.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Bengalis = two political parties.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > More than four Bengalis = Countrywide
> agitation to
> > bring Ganguli
> > into
> >
> > Team.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Bihari
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav .
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Biharis = train capture.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Biharis = caste riots
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Five Biharis = entire literate population of
> Patna
> > ...
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Punjabi
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother
> > Twinky.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis
> at
> > the local
> > McDonalds.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Mallu
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Mallu = coconut stall.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Mallus = a boat race.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Mallus = oil slick.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > UP Bhaiyya
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP
> > assembly.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Gujju
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Gujjus = Bombay 's noisiest
> restaurant.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Gujjus = stock market scam.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Andhraite
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Andhraite = chili farmer.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Andhraites = software company in New
> Jersey ..
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a
> Telugu
> > movie.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Kashmiri
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Tamil-Brahmin
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal
> > temple.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Tam-Brahms = Queue outside the U.S
> consulate
> > at 4 a.m.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in
> > Santa Clara
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Mumbaikar
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Mumbaikar = footpath vada-pav stall.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Mumbaikars= film studio.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Mumbaikars = slum.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Mumbaikars = The number of people
> standing on
> > your foot in
> > the
> >
> > train at rush hour.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Sindhi
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Sindhi = currency racket.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Sindhis = papad factory.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in
> Ulhasnagar
> > ...
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders
> > Association. .
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Marwari
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Marwari = The neighbourhood foodstuffs
> > adulterator.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Marwaris = Finish off all Gujaratis
> &
> > Sindhis.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Marwaris = Threaten the Jews as a
> community.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Haryanvi
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One Haryanavi = tube light.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Haryanavis = agriculture.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three Haryannavis = Lathi squad.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Haryanavis = actually just one was
> enough.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Last but the best
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Kannadiga
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One kannadiga = devegowda
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two kannadigas = devegowda with his son
> Kumarswamy
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Three kannadigas = rivals of devegowda family
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Four Kannadigas = total no of kannadigas in
> > bengaluru
]]>Sat, 19 Jul 2008 16:52:56 +0530http://shivashiva.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/07/19/statewise-lol-1.htmlenjoy reading this!Great Senior Moment!

A very self-important college freshman was attending a recent football
game. He took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting
next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to
understand his generation.


'You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,'
the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. 'The
young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space
travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We
have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with
light-speed processing, and....,' pausing to take another drink of
beer.

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and
said, 'You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were
young........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shithead,
what are you doing for the next generation?'

The applause was deafening.
I just love senior citizens!!!

]]>Sun, 01 Jun 2008 19:50:43 +0530http://shivashiva.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/06/01/enjoy-reading-this.htmlA NoteIts been a while I havent stepped into iland...well it was sheer laziness..tho I did see a couple of posts..commented on quite a few...

I have made some good friends ..who as of now only send fwd mails..lol.

I am wary of gettin too close lest I falter...

I do not intend to be be very open too due to personal / service constraints.

And to make matters more clear very soon I will be without internet facility since I am due to move out from my present location..so another 2 - 3 yrs of jungle bashing u can say!

I admit missing all the fun u guys r having..its a very neat way to connect - let out the steam - and all that blah blah...

ciao for now.

]]>Fri, 22 Feb 2008 18:34:55 +0530http://shivashiva.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/02/22/A-Note.htmlVALENTINES DAYlove u all !
]]>Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:18:14 +0530http://shivashiva.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/02/13/VALENTINES-DAY.htmlmobile testWould you like to know if

Your
Mobile is original or not ?????

Press the following on your mobile

*#06# and the-international mobile equipment identity number appears. Then check the
7th

And 8th

Numbers:





1


2


3


4


5


6


7

Th


8 th


9


10


11


12

13


14


15


Phone serial no.


x


X


X


X


X

X



?


?


X

X



X


X


X

X


X



IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 0

,

2 or 2

,

0 this means your cell phone was assembled in Emirates

Which is very Bad quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are

0 , 8

Or 8 ,

0 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Germany

Which is fair quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 0

, 1

Or 1,
0 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Finland which is very Good

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are
0 , 0 this means your cell phone was manufactured in
Original factory which is the best Mobile Quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 1


, 3

This means your cell phone was assembled in Azerbaijan

Which is very Bad quality and also dangerous for your health

]]>Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:16:11 +0530http://shivashiva.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/02/13/mobile-test.htmlthe code!!A husband and wife decided they needed
to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting
their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".

The
child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell
your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red
ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what
mommy said.

A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."

The
child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy
said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by
hand."

]]>Sat, 19 Jan 2008 19:47:57 +0530http://shivanathan.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/01/19/the-code-.htmlGORILLA LESSON

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose-fitting pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and t-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla immediately went crazy. He jumped on the bars and, holding on with one hand and 2 feet, he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously very excited by the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got extremely excited, now making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggested that she let one of her dress straps fall to show a little more skin. She did ... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down!

"Now, show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips and charging the bars!

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla, slammed the cage door shut and said,

"Now - tell him you have a headache AND YOU ARE NOT IN THE MOOD NOW."

]]>Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:48:00 +0530http://shivanathan.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/12/26/GORILLA-LESSON.htmlFOOD FOR THOTAll good things come to those who wait. BUT
> > Time and tide wait for no man.
> > The pen is mightier than the sword. BUT
> > Actions speak louder than words.
> > Wise men think alike. BUT
> > Fools seldom differ.
> > The best things in life are free . BUT
> > There's no such thing as a free lunch .
> > Slow and steady wins the race . BUT
> > Time waits for no man .
> > Look before you leap . BUT
> > Strike while the iron is hot .
> > Do it well, or not at all. BUT
> > Half a loaf is better than none.
> > Birds of a feather flock together. BUT
> > Opposites attract.
> > Don't cross your bridges before you come to
> > them. BUT
> > Forewarned is forearmed.
> > Doubt is the beginning of wisdom. BUT
> > Faith will move mountains.
> > Great starts make great finishes. BUT
> > It ain't over 'till it's over.
> > Practice makes perfect. BUT
> > All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
> > Silence is golden. BUT
> > The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
> > You're never too old to learn. BUT
> > You can't teach an old dog new tricks
> > What's good for the goose is good for the
> > gander. BUT
> > One man's meat is another man's poison.
> > Absence makes the heart grow fonder. BUT
> > Out of sight, out of mind.
> > Too many cooks spoil the broth. BUT
> > Many hands make light work.
> > Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
> > BUT
> > Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.
]]>Sat, 22 Dec 2007 23:54:08 +0530http://shivanathan.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/12/22/FOOD-FOR.html